1.21.2009
Hey, who's that girl swinging next to me?
You don't say?
I'll bet Marie Antoinette didn't have slippers this cute....
Precious Phoebe pheet (ha!) in sweet slippers.
1, 2, 3, 4
Classic
1.09.2009
The Year Of
I've had an "essay" brewing in my head for some time now. They come more slowly these days, fewer and farther between. I think the English teacher in me has been waiting for a stretch of time when I could flush out a thesis statement, make eased transitions, draw weighty conclusions. But life these days is anything but tidy, organized, thesis-able.
I've come through an interesting time, a time of sometimes-crisis, sometimes-chaos, sometimes "I'm going to bomb everyone and everything in my life," and sometimes-normal. Don't think I think I'm special: I realize everyone has stretches like these. It's just that I'm realizing it and writing about it now. The funny thing is that I don't really know it's happening until the crisis is upon me full-throttle and I'm at a breaking point. I'm only 32 and I think I've had 8 nervous breakdowns already. One of which happened about 10 minutes ago. (Over-exaggeration duly noted.) But that's a different topic sentence for a different "essay".
I have decided that 2009 is going to be my year of BALANCE. My body is out of whack with my mind, and my mind is out of whack with my body, my jaw is locked (literally, thanks to a case of stress-induced night clenching and TMJ), I've got a skunk patch in my hair, which some have actually told me is, dare I say, "sexy." The verdict is out on that one. I haven't had time to dye it recently, but maybe that's just an excuse for trying on my reality. Maybe I'll like being a skunk. {Or better yet, a sexy skunk. Yikes. I can't believe I just wrote that.}
So how am I going to achieve said balance?
It basically is a simple solution, but gets complex in the execution. I'm going to (as Oprah has decreed this week ***ASIDE: I do not watch Oprah usually. Not because I'm an elitist, but because I don't have time. And I don't want to sit around at 4:00 watching her pontificate while my 3 birdies are listening to every word. They don't need to know about weight issues, world peace, finding Zen, and what products they can't live without. But this week, I've Tivo-ed it and have been watching snippet by snippet, interested that her journey is strangely paralleling my own.) That was a long ASIDE. So back to the last sentence. I'm going to "put myself back onto my own TO DO list." Or something like that. I'm going to evaluate the things that really matter and earnestly seek to be deliberate in my decisions.
What does that mean?
So far, it means that I'm going to be
1) outsourcing the packaging and shipping of Darlybird orders. It has been a significant source of stress in my life, one that I finally realized is not worth it. I realize my folksy customer service is part of the charm of Darlybird, but have also realized that my family and my sanity are more important than a bit of folksy charm or a free bobby pin tucked into a package.
2) eating right. I am a self-proclaimed dessertaholic. I'm trying not to bake anything, lest I eat half of a batch immediately. I'm back to planning menus 10 days in advance. Want to see some of them? They're at harmonyfoodies.blogspot.com. Tonight we're following my older sister's lead with pizza and a movie night---I'm even using Darlybird tickets for my kids to "buy" their movie snacks with. They LOVE that. My dough is rising.
3) Exercising. I've taken a couple of short walks this week; nothing too much. But as soon as I kick this hideous cold, I'm going to be pounding the pavement. I'm looking my butt and belly in the mirror and deciding that I deserve better (aka "less"). I want to be healthy. I want to run.
More on Schutz Infirmities of the Flesh in a future essay.
4)Painting and clipping my toenails tonight. Literally. I think my toenails are an indicator of my level of self-desertion. I've got some work to do.
5) Loving my kids for who they are, trying to figure out how I can help them grow into who they want to become, and enjoying each other along the way.
6) Putting Jonnie back in the top spot. Phoebe has bumped him out this year, but that chica's gonna have to spread her wings and fly into her own room asap. Bye bye, chicalacca!
7) Keep a prayer in my heart always. I am spiritual---and religious---but the spiritual part is my core. I find prayer to be the most grounding, hopeful, and deliberate of yearnings....
More later. My dough needs to be rolled, cheese grated, sauce made. And Phoebe bird is waking from her nap.
Happy 2009!
I've come through an interesting time, a time of sometimes-crisis, sometimes-chaos, sometimes "I'm going to bomb everyone and everything in my life," and sometimes-normal. Don't think I think I'm special: I realize everyone has stretches like these. It's just that I'm realizing it and writing about it now. The funny thing is that I don't really know it's happening until the crisis is upon me full-throttle and I'm at a breaking point. I'm only 32 and I think I've had 8 nervous breakdowns already. One of which happened about 10 minutes ago. (Over-exaggeration duly noted.) But that's a different topic sentence for a different "essay".
I have decided that 2009 is going to be my year of BALANCE. My body is out of whack with my mind, and my mind is out of whack with my body, my jaw is locked (literally, thanks to a case of stress-induced night clenching and TMJ), I've got a skunk patch in my hair, which some have actually told me is, dare I say, "sexy." The verdict is out on that one. I haven't had time to dye it recently, but maybe that's just an excuse for trying on my reality. Maybe I'll like being a skunk. {Or better yet, a sexy skunk. Yikes. I can't believe I just wrote that.}
So how am I going to achieve said balance?
It basically is a simple solution, but gets complex in the execution. I'm going to (as Oprah has decreed this week ***ASIDE: I do not watch Oprah usually. Not because I'm an elitist, but because I don't have time. And I don't want to sit around at 4:00 watching her pontificate while my 3 birdies are listening to every word. They don't need to know about weight issues, world peace, finding Zen, and what products they can't live without. But this week, I've Tivo-ed it and have been watching snippet by snippet, interested that her journey is strangely paralleling my own.) That was a long ASIDE. So back to the last sentence. I'm going to "put myself back onto my own TO DO list." Or something like that. I'm going to evaluate the things that really matter and earnestly seek to be deliberate in my decisions.
What does that mean?
So far, it means that I'm going to be
1) outsourcing the packaging and shipping of Darlybird orders. It has been a significant source of stress in my life, one that I finally realized is not worth it. I realize my folksy customer service is part of the charm of Darlybird, but have also realized that my family and my sanity are more important than a bit of folksy charm or a free bobby pin tucked into a package.
2) eating right. I am a self-proclaimed dessertaholic. I'm trying not to bake anything, lest I eat half of a batch immediately. I'm back to planning menus 10 days in advance. Want to see some of them? They're at harmonyfoodies.blogspot.com. Tonight we're following my older sister's lead with pizza and a movie night---I'm even using Darlybird tickets for my kids to "buy" their movie snacks with. They LOVE that. My dough is rising.
3) Exercising. I've taken a couple of short walks this week; nothing too much. But as soon as I kick this hideous cold, I'm going to be pounding the pavement. I'm looking my butt and belly in the mirror and deciding that I deserve better (aka "less"). I want to be healthy. I want to run.
More on Schutz Infirmities of the Flesh in a future essay.
4)Painting and clipping my toenails tonight. Literally. I think my toenails are an indicator of my level of self-desertion. I've got some work to do.
5) Loving my kids for who they are, trying to figure out how I can help them grow into who they want to become, and enjoying each other along the way.
6) Putting Jonnie back in the top spot. Phoebe has bumped him out this year, but that chica's gonna have to spread her wings and fly into her own room asap. Bye bye, chicalacca!
7) Keep a prayer in my heart always. I am spiritual---and religious---but the spiritual part is my core. I find prayer to be the most grounding, hopeful, and deliberate of yearnings....
More later. My dough needs to be rolled, cheese grated, sauce made. And Phoebe bird is waking from her nap.
Happy 2009!
11.22.2008
We then took our Parachute, also from DSS and put each dog on the appropriate color and flung them all over the room. It was a fun evening. 
Go DOG, Go
Esther and I have been going to Play Therapy for a few months now. Without going into all of the details about why, where, etc., I'll just say that it's been good for me to relearn how to play. We sorted dogs the other night. First into colors, and then into breeds. We gave them all nicknames (the Poodles were 'clydes'---more on having to find a new home for him later). You can buy dogs or bears to sort with your child through Discount School Supply.
Lest you think the stress isn't getting to me. . .
Notice the shock of white in my hair. I have a skunk stripe. Have had it for a few years now. It looks much less major in this pic than in reality. I will never forget finding my first white hair. I was actually in HS. It was in the bathroom of the science wing at good ole PHS. Went to the bathroom during Chemistry class, was washing my hands, and lo and behold---a white hair. I've been hiding this for awhile with highlights or dye, but I'm thinking I might be ready to embrace it. Maybe for a little while. My mom's silver hair is a thing of beauty. I just haven't felt ready for it yet. Who knows.
GoofBall!
One day a few weeks ago, Esther couldn't find matching shoes. We were late for something, someone, or another, and I just needed her to get shoes on and get in the car. So I told her that she should be a "Goofball" and wear mismatched shoes. Now it's her favorite thing to do. "Mom, but I want to be a goofball today." I almost always happily oblige. I love this little goofball.
Inadequacy
I've had a lot of feelings of inadequacy as a mother lately. 
I think it might go along with the job, and the sentiment certainly ebbs and flows. It's flowing lately. The other day I took Esther on a nature walk. I told her to point out everything she thought was beautiful and we would take a picture of it. This was her first pronouncement of Beauty. We were walking about a foot a minute because EVERYTHING was beautiful to her. Isn't that amazing? SO I kind of distracted her from the task so we could make a little progress (so adult of me, dang!) She was the most beautiful thing I saw on my walk. (And her sis, Ph.)
11.01.2008
Halloween Friends
Look at these ladies. Did I mention that we have new neighbors who we love and adore with every fiber of our beings? This one is Sibi. She's a keeper. And Estie's new partner-in-crime. 
Leah as Dot
Leah was a very sweet Dorothy. Notice she has Toto in her basket. We thought about bringing Clyde as Toto, but quickly realized that might not be the best idea . . . . at all. 
Little Red Esther
This cape was PERFECT for Estie. So darling. She was pleased as punch. Maybe I was even more pleased. 
Ph's Impromptu Costume
So Phoebe went to the church party as a flower. We had a pumpkin suit for her to wear, but it was going to be too hot. So she wore all green and I quickly hot glued lots of purple hair clip flowers to a hat. I thought it was a make-shift success!
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