A last minute idea . . . .

We made Hope Lists for Obama before we toasted him. Leah read them out loud and we guessed who wrote what. Lots of great hopes. Among my favorites: "I hope Obama finds Osama." Good job, Jason.

Our Hopes

Here's Leah's hope paper for Obama. Earlier in the day she made a rough draft that included things like, "be onist," "be peesful" . . . from the mouths of babes.

Obama Girls

These girls were so adorable at our Obama party.

Yes, we did!

Hey, who's that girl swinging next to me?

Phoebe couldn't get over her shadow the other day. I can't get over how cute she is.

I'm kooky and feisty

You don't say?

I love this look; her expression seems like she's just been told a juicy bit of gossip. And who could resist her velveteen ruffle tank? Found at my favorite thrift store.....embroidered with none other than birdies.

oh me, oh my! look at those eyes!

I'll bet Marie Antoinette didn't have slippers this cute....

Precious Phoebe pheet (ha!) in sweet slippers.

1, 2, 3, 4

Despite our moments of grief over this girl, she's one in a trillion. I love my sweet darling Esther.

Classic

I adore this shot of Sibi and Esther. They were with a babysitter while I was working and came and found me. They had used every single hairclip and jewel in the girls' possession and went on a walk afterward. The picture actually doesn't do it justice.

Here's Looking at You, Kid

Friends at Dusk

E, S, S, L, and W scrambled up a 50-ft boulder hill. Triumphant!

The Year Of

I've had an "essay" brewing in my head for some time now. They come more slowly these days, fewer and farther between. I think the English teacher in me has been waiting for a stretch of time when I could flush out a thesis statement, make eased transitions, draw weighty conclusions. But life these days is anything but tidy, organized, thesis-able.

I've come through an interesting time, a time of sometimes-crisis, sometimes-chaos, sometimes "I'm going to bomb everyone and everything in my life," and sometimes-normal. Don't think I think I'm special: I realize everyone has stretches like these. It's just that I'm realizing it and writing about it now. The funny thing is that I don't really know it's happening until the crisis is upon me full-throttle and I'm at a breaking point. I'm only 32 and I think I've had 8 nervous breakdowns already. One of which happened about 10 minutes ago. (Over-exaggeration duly noted.) But that's a different topic sentence for a different "essay".

I have decided that 2009 is going to be my year of BALANCE. My body is out of whack with my mind, and my mind is out of whack with my body, my jaw is locked (literally, thanks to a case of stress-induced night clenching and TMJ), I've got a skunk patch in my hair, which some have actually told me is, dare I say, "sexy." The verdict is out on that one. I haven't had time to dye it recently, but maybe that's just an excuse for trying on my reality. Maybe I'll like being a skunk. {Or better yet, a sexy skunk. Yikes. I can't believe I just wrote that.}

So how am I going to achieve said balance?

It basically is a simple solution, but gets complex in the execution. I'm going to (as Oprah has decreed this week ***ASIDE: I do not watch Oprah usually. Not because I'm an elitist, but because I don't have time. And I don't want to sit around at 4:00 watching her pontificate while my 3 birdies are listening to every word. They don't need to know about weight issues, world peace, finding Zen, and what products they can't live without. But this week, I've Tivo-ed it and have been watching snippet by snippet, interested that her journey is strangely paralleling my own.) That was a long ASIDE. So back to the last sentence. I'm going to "put myself back onto my own TO DO list." Or something like that. I'm going to evaluate the things that really matter and earnestly seek to be deliberate in my decisions.

What does that mean?

So far, it means that I'm going to be
1) outsourcing the packaging and shipping of Darlybird orders. It has been a significant source of stress in my life, one that I finally realized is not worth it. I realize my folksy customer service is part of the charm of Darlybird, but have also realized that my family and my sanity are more important than a bit of folksy charm or a free bobby pin tucked into a package.
2) eating right. I am a self-proclaimed dessertaholic. I'm trying not to bake anything, lest I eat half of a batch immediately. I'm back to planning menus 10 days in advance. Want to see some of them? They're at harmonyfoodies.blogspot.com. Tonight we're following my older sister's lead with pizza and a movie night---I'm even using Darlybird tickets for my kids to "buy" their movie snacks with. They LOVE that. My dough is rising.
3) Exercising. I've taken a couple of short walks this week; nothing too much. But as soon as I kick this hideous cold, I'm going to be pounding the pavement. I'm looking my butt and belly in the mirror and deciding that I deserve better (aka "less"). I want to be healthy. I want to run.
More on Schutz Infirmities of the Flesh in a future essay.
4)Painting and clipping my toenails tonight. Literally. I think my toenails are an indicator of my level of self-desertion. I've got some work to do.
5) Loving my kids for who they are, trying to figure out how I can help them grow into who they want to become, and enjoying each other along the way.
6) Putting Jonnie back in the top spot. Phoebe has bumped him out this year, but that chica's gonna have to spread her wings and fly into her own room asap. Bye bye, chicalacca!
7) Keep a prayer in my heart always. I am spiritual---and religious---but the spiritual part is my core. I find prayer to be the most grounding, hopeful, and deliberate of yearnings....

More later. My dough needs to be rolled, cheese grated, sauce made. And Phoebe bird is waking from her nap.

Happy 2009!