Cut to the chase: February generally sucks for me. I look back in all of my years (30) and for as many as I can remember, I always get pretty sick in February, and I feel pretty gloomy, too. Christmas joy has definitely worn off, but spring has definitely not sprung (to my liking, at least), and I start to feel the unease that I somehow always muster in February.
This February has been no different to this point. Bear with me as I explain: I threw my back out (what does that phrase mean, anyway?) while at the mall---of all places---while digging through clearance kids clothing, got over that, but immediately got strep throat, condemned a bathroom to mold, got our car broken into [this is the 3rd incident since August---and get this: the thug stole just the face plate to our cd player, our collection of mostly-burned cds---a few great mixes amongst them, including the Primary cd (ha! I'm sure they'll love that one!)], had kids with double ear infections, strep throat, hacking coughs, etc . . . . and best of all, I've been the poster child for good mothering. Gross overexaggeration duly noted.
So after a good cry, I felt pretty rejuvenated and ready to do something different. I took a deep breath and remembered that I won't always be a phenomenal mother . . . . that there will be little glimpses of phenomenal mixed with regular, mixed with okay, mixed with crappy. But that's just life. I had a picnic dinner with my girls on the floor last night. They loved it. That was a great moment.
As another diversion from glum, I decided to unpack the trusty sewing machine and dust off some projects that have been neglected since I became a "business woman." It was such therapy! Making the heart garland was a joy! Please make one for your home. This is random, but sometimes I wish everything in my life was just pretty. There's a certain amount of ugly that has to be tolerated, i.e. certain toys that I don't like, but my kids do. (Or do we just not allow those toys?) But I wish everything could be useful and pretty. Case in point: my orange colander. I love it. I don't love my white one, but I love my orange one. Pretty and useful. But I want to banish the excess, the clutter, the cheap from my life. I'm turning over a new leaf.
I'm resolved to finish the month out with good things and happy thoughts----and reality thrown in there, too.
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an outlet, an inlet, a time-suck, something to look forward to, an oh-my-gosh-did-i-just-make-that-public? platform...basically my life in a nutshell. welcome.
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About Me
- Rachel
- wife, mother, daughter, sister, aunt, friend, ex-English teacher, small business owner
9 comments:
You captured precisely how I feel...the Christmas joy having worn off, and spring not having sprung yet. I have been able to take a few walks this week. Absolutely lovely. BUT, they whetted my appetite for something that isn't wholly here yet, either, and I'm ITCHING for it.
Also...I really liked what you said about being the poster child for mothering. I am glad that other moms feel that way. Sometimes I am so proud of everything we've done in a day and all the fun things I've done with them (which, right now, consists of reading stories or singing to them with my guitar or playing with them, etc.). But, sometimes, I feel like I get distracted with stuff I'm working on or let them cry for a while or whatever, and then I feel like I'm just not cutting it. Glad that other people feel that way, too. I am sure, however, that we're doing a pretty great job. I know we're trying to -- at least. I am sure you are a great mom.
I've never liked February either. Not its holidays, not its name, not its length. blah!
sorry about the sickness. we've caught a lot this year too.
Feb was good to us this year because it is the first time we haven't been sikc. BUT I can totally relate to the sickie blahs!
I have very low expectiations for mothering. If they are fed and alive then I win. So far, I am winning. I MIGHT (but haven't decided yet) add bathing them once a day to the list...but lets not get crazy.
You are doing great. You are MOVING? Details.
the weeks between january and march are the doldrums for me. nothing to look forward to but gray, wet weather and lots of colds (i think i've had 4 this season so far, keith has had 4 and anders has had 3). but, there is a light at the end of the tunnel: san fran in 4 days!! can't wait to see you there!
Ladies, ladies, ladies:
Thanks for commiserating. I honestly love knowing that other great, cool moms have these moments.
and, bek, let me just say that I love your expectations. I think I need to adopt them on days like today. I'd probably be happier.
lindy lou--you are the sunshine at the end of the abyss. can't wait!
I am feeling the February Funk as well. The January one hit me as well. I am sooo with you on this. For some reason it hit me harder this year.
I have been in a real de-clutter kick lately as well. I am sure you have heard of fly lady. I don't follow her, but I do like what she said about clutter: If it doesn't make you smile when you look at it, get rid or it. (excludes toilet plungers and other like items)
I also found a cool website:
http://www.clutter.co.uk
British. you have to love how straightforward they are. I need that. I am a total packrat and as I read their excuses link I kept thinking, yep yep and yep. All me.
I am sentimental, creative and industrious. Not a good combination when you look at a pile of stuff you need to get rid of.
My cute husband says "I need to get rid of some stuff too" (Trying to encourage me.)
I look at him and say with a blank look on my face, " Uhhhh, yeah, the ratio is like your 1 to my 50."
AHHHHHHHHHhhhhh!!!!!!!
Rachel, if we lived closer we could be each other's declutter cute and smile meter.
me: "Rachel, what about this old piece of crap retro timex alarm clock - cute?"
Rachel: "Actually, with a little orange spray paint...."
Me: "EXACTLY!!!!"
Maybe not. :)
AHHHHHhhhh!!
do you like that I used "as well" like three times in the first 2 paragraphs?
What a dork.
chi, i love you! i have always been partial to february since it is my birth month after all, but it's challenges are beginning to make themselves more apparent to me. i am sick of winter. i am sick of being holed up with kids. and i can definitely relate to crappy motherhood club. and sickness and car troubles and the blues.
but, yesterday i noticed that the tulips and daffodils are pushing up on the west side of the house. not fast enough mind you, but a sign nonetheless.
i was thinking about you on my way up to school yesterday, wishing that we could hang out and do fun projects EVERY DAY!!! and now i've got to go take daffodil to the doctor for what i think is conjunctivitis turned earache....
I can't declutter fast enough. My garbage can can't handle all the crap I want to throw away. Also, this belly keeps getting in the way.
You'd be proud of me; I'm sewing a new car seat cover!
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