I don't even know what to call this

Last Sunday I was a bit antsy. The week ahead seemed kind of vacant and boring. I felt a bit stagnant. (Yes, I know I just posted about how content I am. Such is my life.) I found myself wishing I could visit my family and friends in Utah. So I did.

I decided to go, and one hour later I was on I-80, a tank full of gas and two sleeper-clad girls in the back of the car. I've always been a little flighty, spontaneous -- what have you; but this beats almost all of my other escapades. I didn't have time to call friends or family. My mom knew I was on the way because I finally got a hold of her 15 minutes before I left.

Highlights:

1. Lovelock, Nevada 10:30 p.m. : Knocking on the door of the Royal Inn -- one of the only non-Batesesque (PSYCHO) Motels in the whole town. No flashing neon, either. Seems promising. Two just-awakened girls in my arms. No answer. Knock again. No answer. Walk to my car, hear motel door creak open. Turn to see yucky site: Man with frumpled toupee' (I don't do accents), flannel pants, and a --yes-- garment top. He asked too many questions when he checked us in, and his wife made a few sideways comments from their bedroom. I think I must've interrupted something . . . yikes! Duct tape on carpet of room, moldy bathroom. A horrible night's sleep (thanks be to Giz for that one!)

2. Because I was "alone" and driving it myself, I fully justified a few too many ounces of Diet Pepsi. This created a bathroom hazard. I thought I had perfectly timed my stop in Delle, UT-- just after the Salt Flats, but still 32 miles from humanity--until I walked into the Skull Valley gas station and was told in broken English, "outta ordah." I begged, telling the kind sir that I just had to go pee, and had to go BAD! It was a no-go. "Last bathroom 7 miles back. Next one 32 miles." So I did what any normal person would do and decided to hike back a few yards from the convenience store and do my biz. This is about the only time I wish I was a boy. Squatting down and peeing is not that easy. Not to mention that Leah followed suit and pulled her pants down, and then---bless her little heart---Giz started trying to pull off her pants and her diaper. Needless to say, I was laughing my guts out; I ended up peeing on the butt of my pants, and almost worse---the dust/pee mixture that splattered as I went splattered up about 1 ft of my pantlegs and all over my shoes. (The very shoes I'm wearing right now.) I made Leah walk behind me as I made the humiliating trek back to my car. Her musing: "Mom, you've gotta change your pants right when we get to Lolly's." Me: "yep." Her: "and then take a shower!" Random sidenote: There was a small airplane in the parking lot of the Skull Valley convenience store. Huh?

3. Being with my family made me so happy. My mom had an amazing dinner thrown together Monday night and I just loved soaking in the aura of the Utahns. She also makes the most delish desserts: chocolate ganache cheesecake, frozen key lime pie (courtesy of Ina), Sour Cherry and Raspberry Cobbler, key lime icecream, and I know I'm forgetting a few others. Should you need recipes, you know how to contact me.

4. I did the most awesome and fulfilling project with my mom, sisters, sisters-in-law, aunt, righteous mama----more to come later. Let's just say it involved 4 trips to Roberts Craft, a lot of "glitterizing" and a bit too much money. But it's addicting and beautiful.

5. I visited my grandma and grandpa Harmon in West Jordan. They are fabulous, wonderful people, but let's face it----oldies don't know how to deal too well with little kids. Especially my crazy girls. [Side note: As I typed "crazy girls," I heard the roar of the hose in the back yard. Sure enough, Giz was playing firegirl again. Sopping wet, muddy, wet windows, wet hair, wet everything.] But back to Grandma--she has an amazing organ---not as in classy amazing, but as in crazy amazing, with flashing buttons that make it look like the cockpit of a rocket to outerspace. What almost-2-year old wouldn't love that? My dear beloved grandma looked at Esther as she ran over to the organ, pudgy fingers making music and said, "Look with your eyes, not with your hands!" You've got to be kidding me! Now that's a concept Esther understands perfectly. Trying to distract her from the cockpit, my grandma gave her a lei made with fabric flowers. And now for the moment of most toxicity: Just as Esther yanked the lei and hundreds of fabric flowers went flying through the living room, Leah happened to pick up grandma's 3 foot prized teddy bear and body slam him/her on the coffee table. Never a dull moment.

6. On the ride home I perfected my pee-on-the-side-of-the-road technique. Let me know if you want some coaching. Needless to say, I had to call my mom immediately and explain my newfound skill. Thank heavens for cell phones.

All-in-all it was a fabulous trip. Looking back on my list, I realize I've mostly written about the "weirdlights" instead of just highs. I failed to mention many wonderful moments. I loved being with my family, and loved seeing a little bit of Lindy Lou and Becca. Wish I could've stayed longer and seen more people.

Also, I used to think that Nevada was hell and that if I could just blow it up I would be a happier person. This time I loved the awkward beauty of the sagebrush, mountains, big clear sky, and nothingness. Nevada, I'm putting away my dynamite because I think I like you now.

I was happy to pull up to my home sweet home. And then I saw the helicopter circling over my neighborhood. Nothing new. But that made me miss Utah all the more. Ghetto living is not the best---even if it is in Cali with great weather and Trader Joe's. THE END of a very weird post.