1.18.2006

The past week has sucked, but here's a great poem

I've had an extraordinarily crappy week, culminating in the nadir of heinosity (did I use that correctly?) yesterday when a sweaty, quivering, red-cheeked, white-faced manager at davis' eatery "pluto's" asked me to leave because he had received complaints about my children. he brought over a "to-go" box for my salad and showed me the door. I immediately started crying (I'm very fragile at this point) and swigged as much as my Diet Coke as I possibly could, seeing as though I couldn't take my glass with me. As if pluto's is a nice restaurant where children should not be seen OR heard. I 've thought of several retorts to said quivering manager post-situation, all of which contain profanity. Kudos to dear Phoebe, who was with me, and went back to tell the idiot face-to-face that he handled the situation poorly---and then proceeded to email the corporate office of pluto's, detailing the above situation, adding that she will no longer bring her children there, and will tell all of her friends about this incident. fight the power, phoebe! ah yeah! so all i want to do is post a fabulous poem by marge piercy, the queen mother of fighting the power, but i can't find "something to look forward to" anywhere. instead, i'll post another fave:

Cats Like Angels

Cats like angels are supposed to be thin;
pigs like cherubs are supposed to be fat.
People are mostly in between, a knob
of bone sticking out in the knee you might
like to pad, a dollop of flab hanging
over the belt. you punish yourself,
one of those rubber balls kids have
that come bouncing back off their own
paddles, rebounding on the same slab.
You want to be slender and seamless
as a bolt.
When I was a girl
I loved spiny men with ascetic grimaces
all elbows and words and cartilage
ribbed like cast up fog-grey hulls,
faces to cut the eyes blind
on the glittering blade, chins
of Aegean prows bent on piracy.

Now I look for men whose easy bellies
show a love for the flesh and the table,
men who will come in the kitchen
and sit, who don't think peeling potatoes
makes their penis shrink; men with broad
fingers and purple figgy balls,
men with rumpled furrows and the slightly
messed look at ease of beds recently
well used.
We are not all supposed
to look like undernourished fourteen year
old boys, no matter what the fashions
ordain. You are built to pull a cart,
to lift a heavy load and bear it,
to haul up the long slope, and so
am I, peasant bodies, earthy, solid
shapely dark glazed clay pots that can
stand on the fire. When we put our
bellies together we do not clatter
but bounce on the good upholstery.

---Marge Piercy

[Note: I don't like the purple figgy balls image, either.]

17 comments:

HornInFBb said...

oh wow. First, I love the poem, thank sfor sharing it!

Second, OH MY GOSH, I can't believe that happened to you, I can't even imagine it. And Phoebe, good work! I can't think of many people I'd rather have at my side to speak up for me in that sort of situation.

Bluebell said...

Great poem.

I can't believe Plutos asked you to leave! Shame on them. and shame on whoever was complaining about your precious children, too. How dare they. If you can't tell, I'm outraged on your behalf. Good thing for friends like Phoebe. Rock on sister.

I can't say the past week has sucked, but today sure has. It all started with Owen taking half of a geranium plant, soaked from the rain and sandy, and swinging it like a baseball bat at my face, out of nowhere! Oooh, that little pill. He spent twenty minutes locked in his room. And now he's at preschool and I'm wishing I didn't have to go retrieve him. Is it just the pregnancy hormones causing this accute irratability or what???

Anyway, enough of my own misery. I hope your week starts looking up, Rachel. =)

Rachel said...

when i have moments with my children like the geranium incident, i just feel like walking away and saying, "i'm done with motherhood. all done." too bad i've had more than my share of moments like that in the past few days. argh! i went to d.i. again today and joked (to my sis) that i might drop esther and leah off at the donations center.

Natalie said...

That is terrible! I can't believe anyone would complain about your sweet girls. I don't think I've ever been in there where it hasn't been totally loud and obnoxious anyway. That makes me livid!! And thank goodness Phoebe was with you. I can't imagine having to endure that alone. Hang in there! I'm sending you positive vibes for a better week.

p.s. I love that poem.

Natalie said...

Oh, I was just reminded of 2 times that someone should have complained about my kids and sent me out the door (luckily these people were either understanding enough not to or too nice).

I was at this sandwich place with the boys and a business man was sitting next to us, Al kept yelling very loud and Ev was complaining about me not getting him chocolate milk the whole time...next thing I know Alton yanks his straw from his cup and milk splatters all over the man and his nice pressed shirt and tie (maybe face too, I'm not sure).

Next situation, we are waiting in the car dealership waiting room and of course Alton is going bizerk (how do you spell that?)...running around and throwing everything. I go to grab him before he runs out the door and he has some toy in his mouth, as we walk by a man (another nicely dressed, business man), Alton throws the soggy, dripping thing from his mouth right at the guys face!!!! I was so embarrassed.

So, unless your girls were doing anything similar, safe to say, whoever complained about them was totally out of line!

stina said...

Oh Rachel I'm sorry. Plutos of all places! Its always loud and chaotic. What a pain. So was he quivering with anger? Did he make a scene? Bringing over a to go box with no warning seems pretty abrupt and harsh!!

And the geranium baseball bat. Yikes. That sounds so lame and painful, but I can't help but laugh, too. Please don't hate me.

Carina said...

That is an amazing poem, and I'm not a huge one for poetry.

Phoebe is my kind of girl. You'll probably have to eat at Pluto's for life from all the gift certificates you're going to get.

~j. said...

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Hang in there. And PLEASE tell us what happens as a result of the letter to corporate. I am a HUGE letter writer and as a result I have gotten lots of gift certificates (restaurants, airlines, etc.). And, to clarify, I also write letters when services are exceptional.

Becca said...

chi, i NEEDED that poem today. thanks for the reminder that flesh has a purpose.

still can't believe the jerk....

Rachel said...

natalie, your stories made me laugh so hard. maybe midwesterners aren't so uptight about children? so much for the hang loose attitude of cali. get me to chicago! thanks for calling yesterday; it was great to hear your voice and catch up off the blog. oh yeah, i'll get some book suggestions to you asap.

j--i'd love to hear about some of your letter-writing successes. mci once charged me $500+ totally incorrectly and i was so angry because i spent over 20 hours on the phone with them trying to clear it up. they kept saying that they could see their error, but they somehow couldn't fix it. that called for a letter, and i wrote it, but i was so bitter and threatening in the letter that i'm sure they just laughed and ripped it up. i need to work on tone. so my letter to pluto's was still pissed in nature, but more pleasant. we'll see what happens. and i love how you write positive letters, too.

Phoebe said...

Any of you would have done the same thing for Rachel, I just should have been paying attention so I could have said something right when he came over.
Erin told me today that her sister wanted to go to Pluto's and Erin said, "We can't eat there anymore."
See, it's working already!
Where are my gift certificates?

Bek said...

HA!!! Is this the same Pluto's that I think it is? The "make your own salad or sandwich and how about some turkey and mashed potatoes w/ that?" Plutos? The fancy cafeteria? Hmmmmm.

I have had this happen to me before too (and note--my kids are really quite good). They have had their moments, but they generally don't do anything beyond being kids. Of course, we live in a town populated by young-ish, rich, single investment banker/lawyer types. When someone actually has the NERVE to say something to me. I look at them and smile sweetly and tell them to check back with me when they have kids.....until then their critisism doesn't count for me. I've never even seen kids in Pluto's besides mine, and it is always loud in there.

I feel for you Rachel. What are you supposed to do? In that situation the manager only served to make you embarassed (not how you want customers to feel). Would he have done the same thing to a table of business men that were using filthy language or drinking too much and were loud? No, I think not. Just because it is little children and a mom doesn't make that kind of behaviour acceptable.

As for the person who posted about having their children do things that people SHOULD have complained about but didn't...they probably have kids. ;-) Once you have kids you realize that all kids are pretty good 89 -90 % of the time. The other 10-20% of the time, your kid is THAT KID, the one you saw in malls/airplanes/resturaunts and swore you would never let your kids "act like that". Now when I see a child acting up I don't automatically think "what a terrible child..what is that mom doing?" I just think..."oh, today is her day" and remember the last time that it was MY day w/ my kids....

Sister Pottymouth said...

Amen, bek. I'm pretty good at letting public temper tantrums and misbehavior roll off my back, now that I have three kids to manage. I always want to cheer on the moms who calmly finish their business while their kids are being little pills. We moms deserve to be commended for what we put up with.

As for effective letter writing, can I recommend a great book? It has worked wonders for us many times. (We actually got Firestone to pay for a new engine for our car after one of their technicians ruined it during a routine oil change.) It's called "Shocked, Appalled, and Dismayed! How to Write Letters of Complaint That Get Results," by Ellen Phillips. (My apologies for not italicizing the book title. I haven't figured out how to do that in comments.)

Good luck!

The Duke said...

a) Yes you used nadir correctly, at least as far as I could tell.
b) I too am shocked at your experience, on your behalf I spit in the direction of Pluto's.
c) I didn't care at all for that poem, but maybe because I'm a guy, ack ack. It seems that all the women adored it.
d) I will keep you and your family in my prayers today. God Bless.

Lindy Johnson said...

hey chi, the incident sounds so aggravating. i'm glad to see that you have a little boycott on pluto's going! as far as the poem goes, i love it, of course! it's funny because i remember the "purple figgy balls" line as "purple figgy fruit" and i always liked the latter line--it really is a perfect description!

Molly said...

It made me so sad to hear your Plutos story. I'm most upset with the people that complained to the mgr. Have a little heart, people! 50 years ago, your parents had to try to keep your rowdy selves in check while they tried to go through the day's business, too! This child intolerance thing is an ugly symptom of the section of our society that is obsessed with the immediate-gratification//have-it-my-way/nothing-but-comfort lifestyle. What-thefreak-ever!

Rachel said...

Wow! I'm so happy that I have so many supporters and fans. Ha ha! NO, really, it is nice to know that everyone else thinks that i was used and abused. I feel like I'm over it now and can move on. Chipotle tomorrow instead of Pluto's.